For all the slackers around, take heed from the work ethics of the man in red and white. Yes, Santa sets an example in commitment for us; visiting each house where he is remembered, delivering presents and climbing chimney after chimney to bring smiles on millions of faces. Of course the time zones help him, but just think of all the work and a night to do it all…that’s right, hard work…and a lot of cookies too!

So would you think there would be places Santa might want to skip this year, just to make the deliveries easier? To the best of our knowledge, here are a few he might consider for various reasons:

Alice Springs, Australia

It’s much too hot there mate. Imagine the energy required to climb chimney after chimney to deliver presents across the Northern hemisphere and then suddenly having to adapt to 41 degree Celsius. Not only will he have the whole world to cover, but switching from one temperature extreme to another will take some doing…which the jolly old man may decide to skip in order to maintain his joviality. And we have come to know that Mrs. Claus exercises more influence than was previously known, and is becoming more and more protective of her man, especially around Christmas time when he is put through a grueling work schedule!

North Texas, US

Well, do you think Santa might avoid 200 counties all at once? If not then probably avoiding North Texas would be worthwhile. The Texas Whitetail Deer Hunting season is open from November 3 - January 6 and we happen to think Santa is rather fond of his reindeer and would not appreciate a loss just because someone didn’t know the difference…

Peshawar, Pakistan

The capital of Pakistan’s Frontier Province, Peshawar is a city best known for its popular Qissa Khawani Bazaar, a narrow market in the midst of the city, which translates to the street of storytellers. The ballads of war and romance are now gone, the bazaar remains in its essence though, frozen in times past. The salient feature of the city, which we think might prevent Santa from visiting this year, is the majority of the male population sporting large beards; Santa might be in for an identity crisis!

Munich, Germany

Sources close to Santa (we won’t name the elf) have let us in on Mrs. Claus’s plan to cut down Santa’s carbs, as part of his fitness regime. With the news of the world’s largest and heaviest cookie being unmasked in Munich, it is hardly likely that Mrs. Claus will let Santa visit the city this year. The cookie was prepared by 5 bakers over a week; it weighs 600kg and is 6 meters high and 4 meters wide, shaped like a heart.

In other areas, while we think we should not draw too much attention to them, we have insider information again that Mrs. Claus, used to the dress code of the North Pole, would rather have Santa not visit areas in the South West Pacific, where people in the heat of the summer season, are facing a dearth of clothing material, especially on the beaches. The areas, however, are not clearly demarcated yet, and we will keep you updated on any further information leaks. One thing is for sure though, the Playboy mansion in Chicago is undoubtedly out of bounds!

Disclaimer: Merry Christmas!

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